BizarroWorldNats

March 30, 2020 Game 4 (Click "Read More" for lengthy game recap) WAS (3-1)    201 010 000 -- 4  8  0 MIA  (3-1)    100 000 031 -- 5 11 0 WP: Steckenrider  LP: Doolittle (0-1) HR: Thames (2) SB: Robles (2)  Storms in South Florida can come out of nowhere. They can strike suddenly and within minutes ruin one's perfect, sunny, happy day. And so it was for the World Champion Washington Nationals as their certain 4-0 start was wrecked in a sudden downpour of late-game Miami hits. By the time the deluge stopped Jonathan Villar was at the center of celebrating Marlins following his game-winning single, the Nats found their shocked selves 3-1 and in second place behind the underdog Marlins with serious questions about the back end of their bullpen.  The shocking loss cannot be blamed on first baseman Eric Thames, whose urine is sure to be checked soon by league officials. Thames remains on fire (thankfully only figu...

Game 3 (3-0) Click "Read More" for lengthy game recap. WAS (3-0)    000 114 000 - 6  11  0 NYM            100  001 000 - 2   7  3 W: Sanchez (1-0) L: Matz (0-1) HR: Nimmo, Thames (1), Turner (1) SB: Turner 2 (3) CS: Robles Never would I have imagined Britney Spears as a hero of revolutionary socialism, just as it was unimaginable that the early-season favorite for league MVP would be Eric Thames, but here we are. Including his fourth-inning game-tying no-doubt home run, the Nats' cleanup hitter is the proud owner of a .700/.800/1.300 slash line. That's a 2.100 OPS. Nor would have I imagined the reigning World Champions striking out 32 times in 3 games and on pace to obliterate the record of futility (9.85 K per game) set by the 2018 Tigers. And to think that a team with that high a whiff rate would be 3-0 with 17 runs, well... anything's believable in a world with newly-Bolshevik Britney. The Nats won ...

Game 2: (2-0) Washington  100 500 200    8 11 1 New York      012 000 001    4 6  0 WP: Corbin (1-0) LP: Stroman HR: Alonso, Eaton (1), Zimmerman (1) SB: Turner (1) It did not take long this season for the Nats and Mets to remind us that a good ballgame can have the ups and downs of a roller coaster--this time with new Mets manager Luis Rojas vomiting up funnel cake near the exit. Seemingly every one of Rojas' moves backfired and contributed to the Nats' 8-4 victory despite Washington closer Sean Doolittle's second unnecessarily exciting ninth inning. Manager Dave Martinez was tellingly vague in his post-game press conference when asked how long Doolittle might remain in that role with Daniel Hudson perfect thus far and a healthy Will Harris scheduled to join the team next week in Miami. The Mets led 3-1 with runners and first and third with two outs when New York's manager chose to intentionally walk #8 hitter Victor Robles allowing pitc...

Greetings, Everyone. The following is a series of game-by-game recaps of a simulation of the Washington Nationals' 2020 season in a world in which "Reverend" Jim Bakker's Magic Silver Solution actually worked and the season started on time. The simulation is based on a crude dice game my brother and I made in middle school around the time I figured out Juice Newton was not some sort of fig smoothie. Game 1: (1-0) Washington  020 020 000    4 6 1 New York     000 000 001    1 3 1 WP: Strasburg (1-0) LP: DeGrom HR: Gomes (1), Turner (1) SB: Robles (1) CS: Rosario The World Champion Washington Nationals opened the defense of their title on a chilly, but increasingly sunny Thursday afternoon. The game was delayed by Opening Day festivities and needing to find a replacement to throw out the first pitch after Vice President Mike Pence suddenly refused the honor just minutes before game time when he found out there would be girls there. W...